Wednesday, September 24, 2008
My true love
I know it may looks wordy, but please please do read this.Have you ever had one of those encounters or experiences that you knew you would remember for as long as you live? Imagine yourself in desolution and suddenly, your knight in shinning armour just stood in front of you and you simply melted? He held out his hands, ready to hold you as you run into his embrace....no matter how hurt you are or how much pain you are going through....he has a way of easing them? Too good to be true? Think again...
I met my knight in Australia. I knew him all along but we didn't really have a very close relationship because I was busy...busy chasing after things that were never meant to be. He's my best friend...someone who really stood by me no matter how (most of the time) I refuse to answer his calls. He listened patiently to all my complains as I go through my days. He waited quietly for me to talk to him even if it's only 10 minutes. He was the first one to offer me a warm and cozy embrace when I so needed one. He was always there for me when I needed a friend. He laughed when I laugh and cried when I cry. He took the blame for all my wrong doings without asking for anything in return. When I say, "I'm sorry", he'd say, "It's ok, I love you."
I knew that he fell in love with me the first time he saw me. It was love at first sight. Although I didn't reciprocate, he carried on watching over me and comforted me like any good friend would. He is yearning for the day I would be less busy. Whenever he tried to talk, I gave him a time frame..."I have only 5 minutes for you...make it quick", I said. He watched on as I turned my back to walk away, back into my busy schedule. Yet, he never gave up on me. He waited and waited and waited...
That day was my most miserable day. I was crying because it hurt so much. The pain of giving up something I treasured so much. I knew I shouldn't but I was rebellious. I chose to carry on even when no one was on my side. I sat by my bed and cried my heart out while he sat beside me....watching...saying nothing. I told him I couldn't take it anymore, I wanted to go home. He said it's not the time yet. I felt so lonely deep inside me. I had no one. I felt so rejected, so unwanted. All of a sudden, my world just collapsed. I was numbed from all the crying. At that instant, I heard his gentle voice say, "I want you. I promised you that I will never leave you, I will never forsake you. You have read my love letters so many times. I don't break my promises." It was then that I realised what I've been missing out. He took me as I am, not for what I can offer. He saw my brokenness and quietly picked up the pieces.
In his gentleness, he took my hands and walked me down memory lane. He said, "Remember the time you dreamed of me?" I nodded. Of course I remembered that dream. It was lovely...although I couldn't remember a single word that was said in that dream, I remembered the feeling. It was so calm, so lovely, so peaceful, so warm. He said that I don't have to remember what was mentioned in that dream, I only need to remeber the feeling. I did and I smiled for the first time after so many nights of crying. The feeling of loneliness and rejection left.
I took out my keyboard and started singing him a love song. A song specially dedicated to him. I sang until I was totally lost in his love...so immersed in his presence. I never want to get out. It was hard initially, but I kept trying and I made it. He loved it. From then on, music became my life. Whenever I'm down, he would come to me with a song.
I remember a phrase that say "Wherever you go, God is already there". How true? Although that was just a short encounter with Jesus, it changed my life forever. I was never the same anymore. I yearn for more of his love that came so unconditionally. Then I heard him say, "Freely you have received, freely give."
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I just happen to remember this article that i've read years ago. I was preparing my bible study notes and came across this article, as in i've recalled. This is a very meaningful encounter with the Lord. Yah, i really wish i'll be able to have sucha encounter with God, a divine one that changes my whole entire life.
P/S: Peggy, if you came across my blog, this is the one that i wanted to share with you:)
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